Are you a leader who wears a mask for most of your working life? I’m not talking about the kind we have all been sporting during the pandemic. I’m talking about the one that we feel we must wear all our lives, and is shown to us first at school, where we first put it on in order to fit in.
It is a fascinating topic, and I was fortunate enough to be part of a panel discussing the “masks” we wear at times during the Great British Wellness at Work event this week.
So, what do I mean by the masks we wear?
Well in its simplest form it’s the barrier that leaders often don as a form of protection, or even status. How many of us have worked for bosses that simply “fit” the mould of all the other bosses inside the business? How many of us have been that boss, recognising that the way you are accepted by your peer group, the way you get to your next promotion is by fitting in and looking and acting like every other manager inside your business? In my corporate career when I think about it, I was as guilty as almost every other manager. I sat on job interview panels, and I recall that final question that always got asked about a candidate amongst the panel members. “Are they the right shape for our business, will they fit?”
On the surface that seems a reasonable question and it may imply that what we are asking is will the candidate thrive in the culture of the business. Often, I think it meant, are they like us?
Or worse still, have they convinced us that they can role play to appear to be just like us? Is it any wonder that many corporate businesses seem to produce and employ managers and leaders who are in fact clones of each other? These masks we wear make us behave that way.
There were some fascinating points made during the debate I took part in. Real illustrations of pain and frustration from some people who had their careers and their happiness restricted in their employment by not wanting to comply and put on their mask.
I was fortunate, early in my career of running a business I had a mentor who helped me understand that by being more genuine, by dropping my mask and by showing my own vulnerability to my team we could all be so much happier, effective and productive.
Vulnerability is a strong word when it comes to leaders. It does not mean weakness; it is far from that. It’s demonstrating to the people around you, the people who will largely decide your business and your own fate, the strength you have. The strength to say when you don’t know something, the strength to seek help from others, the ability to have your mind changed and to follow the new path that has been shown to you with the same vigour and drive as you do your own ideas.
It’s also showing that you take a genuine interest in the lives, thoughts and feelings of the people who you work with. Basically, it’s being human and showing it every day in all your dealings. It doesn’t mean that you won’t disagree with colleagues, it equally doesn’t mean that you will shed tears in front of everybody once a week. But it does mean that when one of your people does, you will understand why and you will be in a better position to help because you have got to know them as a person, whilst making sure that you respect their limits.
In building businesses, I went out of my way to surround myself by people I considered to be better than me, some were smarter, some were simply more mature in my view. Some saw the world in broader ways than I did. But when we all came together, we were all better people, and we had a lot of fun in doing it. It took me two years into the first business before I realised that keeping my mask on was restricting the growth of the business. It wasn’t just because I was a masked control freak who thought he had to have all the answers to all the questions. When I dropped my mask others did too and we all became more productive, and even before then we were very good.
I closed my presentation at the event by talking about the people now joining the workforce. Generation Z, who will and do expect more of their leaders now. They expect leaders to share a vision with them that includes a purpose, a reason for doing what they are doing, and not just for the financial rewards, although I still believe those will remain important. These new employees of our companies have choices now. The balance has shifted, and employers are chasing potential employees harder now than in any time in my life. I get the feeling these new entrants to the workforce, with their desire to collaborate and co-operate, to discuss and examine things will tip us all the right way. They perhaps are the first generation that don’t come into the workforce with a mask on.
As I came down off the stage though a thought struck me. Was the event a case of the already converted talking to the already committed? It was probably the case, but hopefully the committed will now go out and continue to mentor and lead others and help them realise that it’s OK to show your vulnerability at work.
I don’t have all the answers, but I know it, and I will always admit it.